When Mom is a Bridesmaid

Mostly, I think I am a grown-up… or at least I pretend to be. There is no definitive criteria for establishing adult-hood and maturity is not automatically granted at the age of 18. Occasionally I’ll have one of those wow-I’m-getting-old moments and by occasionally, I mean all the time.

My best friend of almost 25 years is getting married. Yes, that would make us 21 years young. I am honored to be her bridesmaid and looking forward to the wedding. Although I don’t mind humiliating myself by blogging about life’s embarrassing moments, I won’t humiliate her by mentioning we used to have practice weddings in the library with paper flowers, wedding invitations written on notebook paper, and an aisle we used to walk down near the non-fiction section.

I haven’t been in a wedding since my own and I hadn’t anticipated the challenges of being a bridesmaid and being a mom at the same time.

Ah, how un-fondly I look back on that moment when the bridal shop called to verify my unusual measurements were accurate. Nonetheless, I re-did my measurements to determine whether or not having a baby had turned me into a mis-shapen mutant and it had. I not-so-enthusiastically ordered a larger dress size and was distressed when I tried it on. Snug is not a word that makes women feel beautiful or sexy. Bless the seamstress who promised the next time I try the dress on, my expression will be happier. If that is the case, I might have clothes professionally altered more often just for the pep-talks.

While we were waiting to have the alteration ticket written up, my mother and I were discussing undergarments. Yes, undergarments. My mother suddenly laughed (although I take undergarments very seriously) and I realized my son was standing on the pedestal with a young girl  who was having her prom gown fitted. Flirting already at 15 months… hide your daughters. After I offered an apology only necessary for me, I scooped him up and pondered the logistics of being a bridesmaid and being a mom.

We had a plan at the bridal shower for when he got fussy and I wasn’t able to make him happy without neglecting my bridesmaid duties, but the wedding will be a bigger challenge. I think I can hear some moms telling me to just leave him at home, but my usual childcare options will be AT this wedding and making arrangements is a little more complicated seeing as how we are traveling for the wedding.

And how will I get ready? I have been responsible for getting myself, my husband, and my son ready for the past 15 months. I’m afraid if I’m not there to help they’ll show up with no pants on or else inconveniently late. If the universe ever implodes and time collapses on itself, it is because a mother was not there to get her family ready.

This is another one of those unexpected ways a woman’s life changes after having a baby. No matter what other role I might serve as a bridesmaid, a working woman, or someone trying to wash their car… first and foremost I am a mom now!

What experiences have you had with taking your child to a wedding? Success or embarrassing disaster?  Any tips or tricks for taking your child to celebrate a special occasion?


8 thoughts on “When Mom is a Bridesmaid

  1. Great post. I love that he was flirting already! I have taken my boys to a weddings twice… have lots of snacks handy for him – or give a ton to your husband. Every anticipated peep, shove one in there. 🙂 My boys were in a wedding in October and bribery got us through it. Noiseless toys and food.

  2. this was so sweet to read and yes I’m the one who faced a similar challenge twice…lol…First when Sam was just 1 mth plus and it was my sis-in-laws wedding..an Indian wedding. Although I wasnt the bridesmaid (no such custom here) but I had all responsibilities on myself as it was me and DH who had done all from the scratch and no one else had an idea of even where were the garlands coming from. SO that already exhausted mom, just a 1 mth old mom having had sleepless nights, painful sutures yet running for last days arrangements had to be head on heels during those 3 wedding days. Thankfully my mom came over and I could leave Sam in her custody…my mind boggling each moment that I used to be away..she was on mother feed…almost totally and my breasts would start aching at a gap of about 2hrs plus..since I was lactating. At all functions, I used to hand over Sam’s set for the occassion to mom and see her dressed …sleeping in her baby bag,at the site.How I missed her those days and was left physically and mentally over-exhausted after the wedding was over. Throughout, I would keep hunting for moments to be able to sneak out to feed her. Obviously, I had put on plenty of weight and just 1 mth helped nothing…neither did I have enough time to get something new stitched..so the ones I got stitched were made to alter immediately. I had to change my selected clothes for 2 occassions as I felt within a mth of lactating that a particular dress would create hstles while trying to feed her and yes being MOMMY was the priority…not the clothes..not my shoes..I couldnt wear the heels I would have loved to but I wasn’t sad about it either. All I knew was I got 10 min..Mumma hand her to me..u take care of the guests n i’ll be back!! It really wasn’t easy at all.
    Next was my own sister’s wedding..she is like Sam to me and Sam calls her “Chhoti mumma” (chhoti means small or younger)Sam was so excited at the age of 2 n a half and just knew that she was going to be the Chhoti Dulhan(small bride). AT the day of engagement, she was quite unwell…fever vomits…I had to get dressed up..dress her up in her awesome Pink flowing gown..but HOW?? Medicines were going inside her but she just wont eat anything…I took her along to the salon, had to go for my Hairdo…somehow me n her chhoti mumma(THE BRIDE) who was getting dressed at the same salon…but couldnt resist the moaning Sam, her heart..she calls her “my jaan” (my breath..my life)..we managed to get ready and get her dressed too.Calls after calls that the boys side have already arrived at the hall and we still had to cover a run of about 20-25 min from salon to hall, I was getting restless.
    Reached the hall with Sam sleeping in my arms ..she looked like a princess in my arms with her gown flowing downwards..and the lovely veil tucked high on her pony…The entire gathering of about 100 guests were waiting for us..our side at the hall gate itself..As soon as I got out of the car with her sleeping in my arms….someone came over ” WHy did you make it so late..Its so embarassing standing here since last 30 minutes with all gifts in our hands…” And there..came out THE MOM ” WHat the hell…Sam is not well..SHe’s been vomitting since morning…You could have carried on if there was something more important than this..” ANd there came her Chhoti Mumma – Was I gonna wear the ring without My Jaan standing beside me!!
    Both Mums were restless 🙂 but thankfully Sam was well enough to attend the function once she woke up when we entered the hall. But both her big Mum and small mum kept peeping at her throughout..while she sat smiling in her Papa’s lap 🙂

  3. SOrry..got too much into my experiences..all the very best for your role and I’m sure your li’ll macho would find some lovely girl t keep him busy..lol..just kidding…yup…his choice of handy snacks..a sipper of water and some favourite toy of his should help and of course there would be close relatives around to help keep him busy and happy..He shall enjoy too:-)

  4. Last Summer we traveled for a wedding and took a babysitter with us! Definitely a good move. I felt better that Zac could be with us on the trip, but that we could attend and enjoy the wedding festivities baby free, while they were busy playing back at the hotel.

  5. Idea! i am sure that there will be others with your same problem. See about a day/wedding care area where the ceremony is to take place and get a couple of older Boys to watch the kids, Boys don’t really get into weddings.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s