All the Sloppy Ladies

Ladies, and only ladies, I am talking dirty to you. I am gonna talk about big-girl potties. Get the giggles out now because I am serious about this issue.

I know a lot of women (myself certainly not included) who brag about their cleanliness and organization. You probably know them too. They’re the ones reorganizing their pantries, sterilizing their refrigerators, and scrubbing floor tiles with a toothbrush before 7 am. They post this on Facebook too and usually ask for intervention (Oh, somebody stop me! Kitchen junk drawer next then using a q-tip to clean kitchen counters!!!).

Le sigh.

I have never understood this over-achieving behavior. Does coffee do this? Insomnia? Insanity? Motherhood? Whatever the cause, I most definitely don’t have this problem. Yeah, you should see the layers of yuck in my vegetable crisper.

After a visit to the restroom yesterday afternoon, I was bothered and confused. Stall #1 was unusable because of an obvious-colored stain on the seat. Stall #2 was unusable because of fluid on the seat. Stall #3 and #4 were unusable because the previous occupants did not flush after exiting. I utilized stall #5 when I convinced myself it was not a bio-hazard and never bothered looking at stall #6.

Using the restroom in public is one of the few times I can do so alone. No audience looking over me, asking questions, or dysfunction without my presence. Yes, the public restroom is like my Narnia; a way to escape for a moment. Unfortunately, I can’t touch anything in my Narnia for fear of unidentified germs. Also, I have been visited by the occasional stranger who thinks my feet behind the stall door are just an illusion and that the toilet is actually unoccupied. Nope. Hi, it’s me.

But what is most disturbing of all is the mess, mess, mess. I don’t know about all of you ladies, but I put used toilet paper IN the toilet… not on or beside it. Additionally, I flush after use as a courtesy to other potty patrons. Just because we all know what kind of business happens in the bathroom, doesn’t mean we need to see it.

How does this happen? I understand some public restrooms are not serviced regularly, but in my office building they are serviced 3-5 times a day (service log is posted by the door and I our restroom and someone is in there cleaning almost constantly. How is it possible that the restroom is constantly destroyed with toilet paper and other ‘mess.’ Mom’s, you know how it feels to clean up after someone else. How do you think the people feel cleaning up the public restrooms? If it is necessary for me to discuss the awful things I have seen in the restroom with others, then it must be REALLY bad.

Who is doing this? Women, that’s who! More specifically, I suspect that it is those women who complete their chores before 7 am. Perhaps their standard of cleanliness causes freakishly high levels of stress and they unleash in the public restroom tossing toilet paper here and there and other unmentionable items.

Is this filth acceptable in your home? Is this how you treat your bathrooms? I don’t know any moms that encourage their children to pee on the floor or don’t complain when they have to clean up after their husbands. So why behave so badly in public? It’s appalling.

And let’s find a happy balance, not extremes! Used toilet paper belongs in a toilet. However, toilets have a capacity limit when it may become necessary to flush. I am no scientist, but I don’t think adding more toilet paper on top of toilet paper will unclog a toilet or make it more cleanly for usage. Also, piles of clean toilet paper do not hide piles of dirty toilet paper underneath. Nice try though.

Ladies, I will defend you to the best of my ability when I hear a man assuming a bad driver is a woman, but your behavior in public restrooms is appalling. If I could hold it and wait, I would. but my bladder isn’t what it used to be before I had kids. For moms everywhere, the public restroom may be their only opportunity to go to the bathroom alone (although this is about as likely as finding a Golden Ticket in your candy bar). Keep it clean!

Please vote for Mommy Huh daily… and from your smart phones too!


13 thoughts on “All the Sloppy Ladies

  1. Amen! No mention of bloody tampon applicators, huh? That one always got me. You could flush it or put it in the handy little tin box hanging on the wall. Two options, yet they were always stashed behind the toilet.
    Also, I went to vote again and I can only vote once. I may have a trick or two up my sleeve, though.

    • I attempted to ‘imply’ feminine products without creating frightening images. Toilet paper all over the place is the least frightening thing one might encounter in a public restroom.

      And you can vote once per day. Every 24 hours if you have nothing better to do. 🙂 You can be my campaign manager!

      • Every 24 hours…I was just a little overly anxious to hit the “vote” button. Off I go to vote! I’ll be your campaign manager. I’m going to start a smear campaign against all the other mommy bloggers.

  2. Character. A measure of someone’s worth while no one is looking. Base on the mess in public bathroom, the conclusion is that most people are poo. Full of sh**, and too dumb to figure out how to clean up after oneself. This goes out to the guys too.

    Good post. Keep people in line in public places!

  3. I don’t know if I’m relieved or frightened and disgusted that this doesn’t just happen at my office building. We’re a law firm and we’re lock down…the only people that use the facilities are employees and they are disgusting. Used feminine products constantly litter the floor/the seat/the top of the box in the stall. It’s disgusting.

    I asked my male co-workers if their bathroom is just as disgusting and apparently it’s not.

    Ladies, why are you acting like pigs???

  4. I have thought about this many times! Why are the ladies rooms so nasty??? It’s probably all those gals who get up at 5 to clean their grout. They are just too tired to worry about the public restrooms! LMAO

  5. You know what might cure this? Getting drunk at a college football game, not wanting to wait in line for the ladies room, so just going into the men’s room and seeing how utterly disgusting that is… so I hear.

    When I have to head south and visit our office, the bathrooms are pretty nasty, but I make it a habit of going at certain times… so I’m the first one in after the cleaning people exit. Plus there are some bathrooms which are always cleaner than others (the ones on the floors where there are not very many women). Doesn’t excuse these slobs by any means or their poor public restroom etiquette, but it does make your kidless mecca more of a mecca. I heart peeing without my audience who constantly points out that instead of a penis, I have two butts in between my legs.

  6. When I was a teenager I worked at an establishment where all the employees took turns cleaning the restrooms and to this day I still remember the women’s bathroom to be far worse than anything. Thank you so much for this laugh! Oh, and not to mention… there is always that mound of soup under the soup dispenser, like someone had a hay day and wanted to stick it to the ‘man’? “…Tell me to make another 100 unnecessary copies again .”

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